


I am Human

by TerresDeBrume



Series: Rumor Has It (We're all selfish morons) [14]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Decisions, Bad Romance - Freeform, Epistolary, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am Human. I am Human.</p><p>I am Human, and I will let you down (again)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am Human

**May 2, 2014**

Dear Loki,  
  
You would probably disapprove of the opening, but considering you will never read this -and this time I am quite certain of that- I think I can afford it.  
  
I'm so sorry, Loki.  
I wish I could ask you to come with me, I wish it from the bottom of my heart, but I can’t. You were right, you know? It’s ridiculous that it’s taken me two years to admit it to myself, but you were completely right. It has nothing to do with Thor. Not even a little bit -maybe I’m cruel, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice him for you in a heartbeat. Call me egoistic if you will, you’ll be right anyway. You know me, Loki. You know what I am, better than anybody else -and yet, for all that I trust you more than any other, I am unable to send any of this your way.  
  
I’m so afraid that if I do ask you to join me, and I get to taste what life is next to you, you will finally realize how much of a waste of time loving me is. I am so terified to think you would leave, because everyone does. It’s not that people want to hurt me, I know that. Pepper, Steve, Clint... They have their own lives to think about. They have families to build, jobs to keep, I can’t ask them to be by my side all the time and I don’t want to either but....  
  
Loki, I can’t bear the thought of losing you.  
I wouldn’t survive it, it’s a s simple as that. And I can’t put that on your shoulders. I can’t ask you to come with me when I know you might end up staying only to spare my life rather than because you want to.  
It kills me a little more every minute of everyday, how much I want things to be different. It kills me and it burns me and I wish I could just tell you what you mean to me, but I never can and I am so sorry for this. You deserve so much better than this.  
  
I hope one day, with a lot of work, I will be able to believe that if you do come to me, you will stay. I hope I will be able to believe this, and beg for your forgiveness, for at least your friendship -believe me, Loki, I work toward that goal everyday. I can’t say I’m very successful yet, but I try Loki, I really do.  
I hope one day I will be strong enough to apologize to you. That you will, maybe, forgive me, and we can at least be friends again.  
  
Until then, I can only wish you to be as happy as possible, and keep pretending you’re the one reading your books to me.  
  
Tony

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if the tags led anyone to believe things were looking up in this letter, but this _is_ a Love Letter -in fact, they all are... I felt the tag was appropriate, for this one even more than the others.


End file.
